Porsche. My first experience in a Porsche was in a 996 Targa. I must’ve only been 9 or 10 but I remember it like it was yesterday. The noise, the speed, the wind. It was magnificent. For obvious reasons I wasn’t driving. No, my first actual drive in a Porsche was in a first generation Cayenne S. This was the first time I’d driven anything with a V8 and the first time I got out of an SUV and questioned the laws of physics. It was an incredible piece of engineering. The way it shed its weight and accelerated like a missile, to then 16 year old me, was out of this world. The acceleration was awesome but the cornering and braking were even more impressive. I took on tight corners at ridiculous speeds and it remained composed. The brakes were so strong I’m sure I made a ripple on the roads.
This was my first taste at a proper ‘sports’ utility vehicle. The other SUVs I’d driven prior to the Cayenne were mostly family-orientated. Toyotas, Fords… that sort of thing. But the Cayenne was in a completely different league. Since then I’d been exposed to all sorts of SUVs such as the Mercedes ML, Range Rover Sport and Jeep Grand Cherokee. All were fine SUVs but none had given me the same feeling of astonishment the Cayenne did. The closest was the Supercharged Range Rover but purely because it had 510 bhp. Dynamically though the Cayenne remains the best handling SUV I’ve tried. Not far behind though, is the BMW X5.
Let me make it clear; I’m not an X5 fan. For German SUVs I’d plump for a Merc ML because I like the design and badge more. If I wanted 7 seats in my German tank then the GL or Q7 would be at the top of my list. I don’t know why I didn’t care for the X5 much. It’s not as ugly as other BMWs and it’s one of a few SUVs with a proper split tailgate. So when I was presented with a facelift 2012 BMW X4 xDrive40d, I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy it.
Oh but I did. First the engine. It’s a twin-turbo 3-litre diesel with 306 bhp and 600NM of torque. Let me repeat that. 600NM of torque. That gets this two and a bit tonne truck from 0-100 km/h in just 6.6 seconds! That’s quicker than most hot hatches. It was quite an engine. Okay, it wasn’t as silent as Audi’s 3-litre twin-turbo TDI but it felt just as powerful. I got a childish sense of enjoyment accelerating off the lights so quickly in such a big car. Oh god and the 8-speed ZF auto. Why don’t more manufactures use this gearbox? Seriously it’s so smooth around town but when you want to take manual control of it the shifts are as quick as DSGs. And unlike most cars where you hit the gearstick up to go up a gear, BMWs do it properly. You pull the stick down to go up and push it to go down a gear. Like you would in a proper manual.
Then there’s the way it drives. It’s a BMW so naturally it’s rear-wheel biased. You can feel this when you accelerate out of a corner. You feel like you’re being pushed as opposed to being pulled which what you feel like in something like an Audi Q5. I know it’s not really that important but it felt nice. The steering was quite good too. I think it’s electronically-assisted but it felt precise and gave good feedback. As expected there was very little body roll. Certainly less than in a Range Rover Sport.
Where it was let down was the ride. The good handling and minimal body roll means the suspension has to be firm. Couple that to the harsh run flat tyres and the X5 doesn’t make for the comfiest mode of transport for the school run. Good thing the seats are comfy. Actually, the interior is quite good. The design isn’t exactly the most inspiring but it feels well put together and certainly very premium. You sit high up, get nice big windows and the electric seats offer limitless adjustability. The boot is huge. The car I had didn’t have a third row fitted so the boot was just full of space. And with that split tailgate filling that boot up with dogs is a breeze.
Weirdly, I found the iDrive system pretty easy to use compared to my first encounter with it many years ago. Perhaps its because I’ve gotten used to using similar systems now. Anyway, the iDrive. Usual controls. Big rotating dial, quick jump buttons around it and a large display screen. I love how in BMWs you can get a split screen. Pretty much it means you can scroll though your music while still being able to see the sat-nav. That’s not the best thing about that huge screen though. No, that happens when you fiddle with the futuristic gearstick.
Ah, that gearstick. I remember being rather critical of it when it first came out. I thought it looked stupid and was completely unnecessary. While I still prefer a normal gearstick at least BMW tried to make something rather dull interesting. So, shift the stick into ‘R’ and the screen becomes a wonderful 3D video game. The reversing aids are the best I’ve seen in any car. There are lines to help guide you into the space (other cars have this too) and the colours show how close you are to crashing (green being safe, yellow getting close and red you’ve ran over your dog). It also follows the direction of the steering wheel. But the best bit is the 3D blocks that help show you the shape, size and distance of the thing behind you. Its so good not once did I look out the back window. Distraction? Hell yes. But so much fun.
But a decent driving experience and mental diesel engine isn’t enough to make it top dog. It does have a few flaws. It’s a bit big. With seven seats fitted it wouldn’t be a complaint, but five seats in a car this bulky is just greedy. It’s also not a car everyone likes so some people won’t give way to you. They’ll think you’re a massive show off with your 600NM of torque and drug-dealer spec tints. Sitting behind the wheel of the X5 I felt like I was important and powerful. BMWs just do this to their drivers, which is probably most of them behave the way they do. The X5 felt more like a BMW than the 330i, by which I mean it felt more commanding on the road. Let me out it in another way. In a Range Rover you feel like you’re sat on a throne. In the X5 you feel like you’re sat in a tank, albeit a sporty one.
That brings me on to the worst thing about the X5; it’s lack of off-road settings. Rivals such as the Audi Q7, Mercedes ML or Range Rover Sport all have buttons and switches to allow them to go off road a bit. The X5 has none. BMW cunning call it an SAV or Sports Activity Vehicle. So its strictly a 4WD car for road use. That’s fine for Yummy Mummies and well-heeled suburban housewives but for someone who lives in the countryside or where it might snow, then there are better rounded SUVs. Actually the X5 breadth of ability, and lack of it, is its biggest flaw. You see if you wanted a five-seater SUV built purely for road use then the options are endless. If you wanted a seven-seater SUV with off-road capabilities then the Land Rover Discovery is a better bet. If you want your SUV to handle well then the Cayenne is still best.
That’s the problem with the X5. When it first came out it only had to compete with a wobbly ML, an unreliable Range Rover and an Explorer with a ladder chassis. Nowadays every manufacturer makes an SUV, each with their own set of abilities. The X5 just doesn’t cut it anymore. Sure as an ‘all-rounder’ it’s a fine choice but the fact that it has no off-roadability means it isn’t perfect. Even the Cayenne can get down and dirty. It’s a fine machine, the X5. And I can see why they’re popular. Very few cars command such presence on the school run and the BMW badge has appeal to the moon and back. But for me the Range Rover Sport is the undisputed all-round king of SUVs in this price range.
Verdict: 7.5/10
Pros: BMW badge, mighty Diesel engine, sporty feel, reversing camera, split tailgate, 7-seat option
Cons: Ride, size, obvious choice
Revved Up 